This past week, a large group of celebrities including Nicole Kidman, Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, and Danny DeVito, amongst many others, took out a large ad in the Los Angeles Times saying that they are all collectively against terrorism.
WELL FUCKING HALLELUJAH! I don't know what I would have done if the damsel-in-distress from "Batman Forever" (Kidman) and the bad guy from "Spy Kids 3D Game Over" (Stallone) hadn't made their opinions so abundantly clear. You know what difference it makes now that we know Hollywood doesn't support terrorism? A great weight has been lifted from my shoulders, I tell you.
It's a very sad state of affairs when actors and actresses think they have any kind of say in what goes on in the world, let alone something as asinine as publicly "coming out against terrorism." Even if the AP story about this did describe the announcement as "strongly worded," who gives a shit? Wow, the crotchety boss on "Taxi" really doesn't like terrorist? Fuck me...
You know what would be ballsy? Someone coming out and saying they supported terrorism. That would raise a few heads instead of eliciting a few sighs. Hey celebrity collective, do you know who else is against terrorism? EVERY AMERICAN MAN AND WOMAN! And I didn't even have to read the LA Times to figure that one out.
Isn't this the kind of pompous self-centered-ness that made us such a lovable target for terrorists in the first place? Maybe they should all go back to fucking work and make an original movie every once in a while instead of sitting around with their heads up their asses acting like they make a difference. I've had it with these mother-fucking remakes of these mother-fucking movies.
Incidentally, go see "Snakes on a Plane" this weekend.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
Terrorists Thwarted; Country Dumbened
And dumbened isn't even a word. See how quickly it spreads?
Starting this week, you are no longer allowed to bring any liquids, gels, or pastes of any kind with you on an airplane (well, at least not in your carry-on bags). Yes, there is growing concern that millions of Americans, most of them too stupid to tie their own shoes, are going to use that Dasani bottle and some Zoloft to cook up a dirty bomb and crash their planes into who knows where.
The illusion of safety on airplanes grows, you're deprived of precious cans of Red Bull and Dr. Pepper, and merchants in the airport concourses suffer great financial losses because they can't peddle their over-priced sunscreen.
Oh, and your shoes are going to be x-rayed now. Won't that be fun? "Experts" ask that you arrive to airports over two hours early now to make it through all the additional and useless screening processes. I'm sure this will send airplane company profits through the roof (that is, crashing down into the roof since they're airplanes and we assume they are flying). But hey, the taxpayers can just bail them out again when they complain about it.
Ah, the cycle of stupidity continues. But at least we're now more certain that we might be able to prevent a possible terrorists attack that may or may not occur at any given moment.
It was also nice of most major news sources to tell everyone which chemicals can be combined to make weapons. That sure is the best way to prevent it from happening. Of course, chemistry textbooks have had that information published for years, leading us to the only possible conclusion that chemistry professors are terrorists.
Starting this week, you are no longer allowed to bring any liquids, gels, or pastes of any kind with you on an airplane (well, at least not in your carry-on bags). Yes, there is growing concern that millions of Americans, most of them too stupid to tie their own shoes, are going to use that Dasani bottle and some Zoloft to cook up a dirty bomb and crash their planes into who knows where.
The illusion of safety on airplanes grows, you're deprived of precious cans of Red Bull and Dr. Pepper, and merchants in the airport concourses suffer great financial losses because they can't peddle their over-priced sunscreen.
Oh, and your shoes are going to be x-rayed now. Won't that be fun? "Experts" ask that you arrive to airports over two hours early now to make it through all the additional and useless screening processes. I'm sure this will send airplane company profits through the roof (that is, crashing down into the roof since they're airplanes and we assume they are flying). But hey, the taxpayers can just bail them out again when they complain about it.
Ah, the cycle of stupidity continues. But at least we're now more certain that we might be able to prevent a possible terrorists attack that may or may not occur at any given moment.
It was also nice of most major news sources to tell everyone which chemicals can be combined to make weapons. That sure is the best way to prevent it from happening. Of course, chemistry textbooks have had that information published for years, leading us to the only possible conclusion that chemistry professors are terrorists.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
This Week in Comics - 08-09-06
Comics. Funny books. Graphic literature. You get it, I know. Here's what's what...
Ultimate X-Men #73 - Marvel - Pretty standard mid-issue for a three issue arc. The Professor informs the X-Men that new recruit, Magician, is not what he seems. X-Men fight Magician. And that's all that really happens here, which isn't to say it's bad. Tom Raney's art is a bit cramped at times (like when every X-Man has a projectile coming at Magician) but for some reason I really liked it. The coloring reminded me of mid-90's X-Books, which is a good thing (as long as the plots don't do that). Last issue was point A, next issue is point B, but you need a little bit of journey in there and that's this issue. "B"
Civil War: Front Line #5 - Marvel - Speedball gets out of Earth prison and goes to the Negative Zone prison with Typeface and various C-List and D-List anti-heroes. Sally Floyd, the journalist trying to find Captain America, gets arrested. Ben Urich gets fired from The Daily Bugle because it couldn't possibly have been the Green Goblin who attacked him. Wonder Man cheated on his taxes and now has to track down the Atlantean Sleeper Agent. I've just saved you $3. I like the idea of this series alot more than I like reading it, but it's pretty much necessary to follow Civil War. Oh well. "C+"
Fantasic Four: First Family #6 of 6 - Marvel - Why did they never put a recap page on this book? I have no idea what the hell is going in it. I thought it was a re-telling of the Four's origins, but instead it's a fight with some crazed being with god-like powers... which accurately describes nearly all of the FF's foes. I think I need to re-read all of these to make sense of it, but at the same time, I never want to read it again. I'm surprised I bought all of this. A little saddened by it too. "C"
Fifty Two Week 14 - DC - It's going to cost $130 to read this series in its entireity. I could have bought booze with that money. What? Oh yeah, stuff happens in this issue and it's all very, very interesting for fans of Renee Montoya, the Metal Men, and ... actually I just finished it and I don't remember who else was in it. Inexplicably, there's a back-up Metamorpho strip. I'd have thought it'd be Superman or Batman for the second of these, but no. Metamorpho. This series makes me like The Question less because he's hanging around with a mean-spirited lesbian and trapsing off into the Middle East. And where is Booster Gold? Or Animal Man and Adam Strange? Thank God, in another month, Lobo returns in this book. "C"
Beyond! #2 (of 6) - Marvel - This is a very, very strange little mini-series. Ostensibly, this is Secret Wars redux part 3 (or is 4 now?) and most fanboys can surmise the Secret Wars, but for those who cannot, here's the deal. There's a god-like being called the Beyonder who took heroes and villains to a place called Battleworld and said he'd give the winners their heart's desires. Long story short, he's apparently back and has taken the weirdest friggin' group of characters ever assembled and thrown them into space with absolutely no promotion from the Marvel marketing department. This is a book where we have original Avengers the Wasp and Giant Man, as well as the new bootleg Venom - who used to be Scorpion, for those keeping score, the new bootleg Kraven, and the narrator of the story, little-known newbie hero Gravity, whose mini last year was one of my fav's. Last issue, heroes got abducted and Venom killed Spider-Man. This issue, Venom goes crazy, the ship crash lands, and Deathlok comes back out of absolutely nowhere. Casual comics fans should avoid this book like the plague, but if you like random characters doing things for random reasons (and I must say, I do) check it out. "B+"
Secret Six #3 (of 6) - DC - What is this, confuse the reader week? No recap page to found, and I have no idea what the point of this book is anymore. I know it has Catman and Deadshot and its about villains. Vandal Savage's daughter, Scandal needs to have a baby or Vandal will kill her except she's a lesbian (there are a lot of those nowadays at DC...). I don't even know what I just read, What a terribly confusing week. Oh, the Doom Patrol shows up and the Mad Hatter may or may not epileptic. And a naked chick. "B-"
Superman #655 - DC - Thankfully, there are no backwards talking robots or random cuts to Firestorm and Nightwing like in the last ish of Action Comics. Clark is on his way to Kazhkstan (insert Borat joke here) and goes off to save his scientist friend Callie. Nothing exemplary here, but that's fine by me. If you want to see Superman fly around and save people, here's a good place to start. Some ongoing plots are advanced and some new ones start up. I'm not sure how I feel about this Subjekt 17 villain. He looks like another super-strong invulnerable lunk who can hit Superman very hard. Seems like there's a lot of those floating around, so why make a new one up? I'll see where this is going before I pass my judgment. Vast improvement over the last Action Comics.
Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #2 - Marvel - Spidey. Kingpin. Punisher. Daredevil. Moon Knight. Lots of blood, guns, and ass-kicking. Sound good? You bet your ass it does. "A"
That's all the time we have for today folks. See you in the funny books.
Ultimate X-Men #73 - Marvel - Pretty standard mid-issue for a three issue arc. The Professor informs the X-Men that new recruit, Magician, is not what he seems. X-Men fight Magician. And that's all that really happens here, which isn't to say it's bad. Tom Raney's art is a bit cramped at times (like when every X-Man has a projectile coming at Magician) but for some reason I really liked it. The coloring reminded me of mid-90's X-Books, which is a good thing (as long as the plots don't do that). Last issue was point A, next issue is point B, but you need a little bit of journey in there and that's this issue. "B"
Civil War: Front Line #5 - Marvel - Speedball gets out of Earth prison and goes to the Negative Zone prison with Typeface and various C-List and D-List anti-heroes. Sally Floyd, the journalist trying to find Captain America, gets arrested. Ben Urich gets fired from The Daily Bugle because it couldn't possibly have been the Green Goblin who attacked him. Wonder Man cheated on his taxes and now has to track down the Atlantean Sleeper Agent. I've just saved you $3. I like the idea of this series alot more than I like reading it, but it's pretty much necessary to follow Civil War. Oh well. "C+"
Fantasic Four: First Family #6 of 6 - Marvel - Why did they never put a recap page on this book? I have no idea what the hell is going in it. I thought it was a re-telling of the Four's origins, but instead it's a fight with some crazed being with god-like powers... which accurately describes nearly all of the FF's foes. I think I need to re-read all of these to make sense of it, but at the same time, I never want to read it again. I'm surprised I bought all of this. A little saddened by it too. "C"
Fifty Two Week 14 - DC - It's going to cost $130 to read this series in its entireity. I could have bought booze with that money. What? Oh yeah, stuff happens in this issue and it's all very, very interesting for fans of Renee Montoya, the Metal Men, and ... actually I just finished it and I don't remember who else was in it. Inexplicably, there's a back-up Metamorpho strip. I'd have thought it'd be Superman or Batman for the second of these, but no. Metamorpho. This series makes me like The Question less because he's hanging around with a mean-spirited lesbian and trapsing off into the Middle East. And where is Booster Gold? Or Animal Man and Adam Strange? Thank God, in another month, Lobo returns in this book. "C"
Beyond! #2 (of 6) - Marvel - This is a very, very strange little mini-series. Ostensibly, this is Secret Wars redux part 3 (or is 4 now?) and most fanboys can surmise the Secret Wars, but for those who cannot, here's the deal. There's a god-like being called the Beyonder who took heroes and villains to a place called Battleworld and said he'd give the winners their heart's desires. Long story short, he's apparently back and has taken the weirdest friggin' group of characters ever assembled and thrown them into space with absolutely no promotion from the Marvel marketing department. This is a book where we have original Avengers the Wasp and Giant Man, as well as the new bootleg Venom - who used to be Scorpion, for those keeping score, the new bootleg Kraven, and the narrator of the story, little-known newbie hero Gravity, whose mini last year was one of my fav's. Last issue, heroes got abducted and Venom killed Spider-Man. This issue, Venom goes crazy, the ship crash lands, and Deathlok comes back out of absolutely nowhere. Casual comics fans should avoid this book like the plague, but if you like random characters doing things for random reasons (and I must say, I do) check it out. "B+"
Secret Six #3 (of 6) - DC - What is this, confuse the reader week? No recap page to found, and I have no idea what the point of this book is anymore. I know it has Catman and Deadshot and its about villains. Vandal Savage's daughter, Scandal needs to have a baby or Vandal will kill her except she's a lesbian (there are a lot of those nowadays at DC...). I don't even know what I just read, What a terribly confusing week. Oh, the Doom Patrol shows up and the Mad Hatter may or may not epileptic. And a naked chick. "B-"
Superman #655 - DC - Thankfully, there are no backwards talking robots or random cuts to Firestorm and Nightwing like in the last ish of Action Comics. Clark is on his way to Kazhkstan (insert Borat joke here) and goes off to save his scientist friend Callie. Nothing exemplary here, but that's fine by me. If you want to see Superman fly around and save people, here's a good place to start. Some ongoing plots are advanced and some new ones start up. I'm not sure how I feel about this Subjekt 17 villain. He looks like another super-strong invulnerable lunk who can hit Superman very hard. Seems like there's a lot of those floating around, so why make a new one up? I'll see where this is going before I pass my judgment. Vast improvement over the last Action Comics.
Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #2 - Marvel - Spidey. Kingpin. Punisher. Daredevil. Moon Knight. Lots of blood, guns, and ass-kicking. Sound good? You bet your ass it does. "A"
That's all the time we have for today folks. See you in the funny books.
Monday, August 07, 2006
The DVD Collector's Lament
If I had to pinpoint my biggest vice in this world, it would have to be my love of things. I really, really like to buy things. I especially like to get a good deal on the things that I like. I like to display the things I own and promote conversation concerning my things. It's not that I brag about my things, it's just that my things are an essential part of my being, and I'm vain and like to talk about myself. I am a gestalt of the things I own, and the things I own are pretty friggin' sweet.
But of my many things, the two biggest and most important are my two most sprawling and massive collections: my DVDs and my comics. Comics are great, but not what I want to talk about here. I'm sure there will be plenty more of that down the line, believe me. Today, I want to talk about my DVD collection. I can't really recall a day in recent memory where I haven't had a DVD on for at least some portion of my day, and there certainly hasn't been a week since I began working where I haven't purchased a DVD. On Sundays, the first thing I do is grab the paper, pluck out the Best Buy and Circuit City circulars and check out who has the best deals for what DVDs. In a nice way, I'm a DVD collector, but in a not so nice way, I have an unhealthy problem when it comes to buying DVDs.
The greatest problem with my collection lies in the fact that it takes time to watch a DVD, often 10 hours for some of the better special editions with commentaries and such, yet it's a relatively spontaneous process for me to buy them. ("UHF is only $6? Yoink!") I have a fairly large and growing collection (which you can peruse virtually, here) and I simply don't have the time to watch anywhere near the full amount of content on these DVDs. So, there are a lot of DVDs that I have, but have never watched. That seems strange to me, the rational being. Case in point, a few weeks ago I was reading a list about the best comic book movies ever, and a little remembered movie called "The Rocketeer" graced the list. (I didn't even know it was a comic.) I remember when the movie came out my older brother was a pretty big fan of it and when we subsequently went to DisneyWorld in 1992 or so, The Rocketeer had breakfast with us at one of those character meet and greet meals that Disney does. (Chip and Dale were there too, how cool is that!)
Anyway, I hadn't seen the movie in a good thirteen years, barely remembering what it was about aside from a rocket pack, Jennifer Conolly, and a lot of Nazis. The discover that Terry O'Quinn, Lost's John Locke, played Howard Hughes in the movie ignited within a burning drive to possess "The Rocketeer." I like comics, I like Locke, I like the episode of "Arrested Development" where George Michael gets a rocket pack. Ipso facto, I like "The Rocketeer" (Yes, this is an accurate representation of how my brain works.)
Now, the Rocketeer came out in the very early 90's and had been released in early 2000 as a bare bones DVD (meaning 'special features' that include "Brand New Menus!" and "Theatrical Trailer!" an albatross for serious DVD collectors as myself). It was older and pretty obscure, and that means it was hard to find and it was expensive. Not markedly so, but if you don't buy a DVD at Best Buy or Circuit City, you're overpaying for it, and they didn't have it. So I bought "The Rocketeer" at an overpriced store for about $16. (I actually got it in a sale that was buy 2 for $25; the other movie I got, "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" is a favorite of mine that I had long wished to own.) This extremely boring and long-winded story about "The Rocketeer" culminates in the following punchline: It's been about a month, and I still have not watched the damn movie.
And this is something I was getting borderline crazed about. "I must buy 'The Rocketeer!'" crazed. Then I got it, suffered some mild mockery from my peers (to the tune of, 'Why would you buy a Disney movie from 15 years ago?' to 'Dude... The Rocketeer?'), and it's been sitting under a pile of other DVDs for weeks now.
And this wasn't a one time thing. When I was a freshman in college, I distinctly remember one weekend when my parents were up. The common thing to do with my parents was to go to the mall (I wonder how I developed my love of spending...), specifically to Target. Target often has sales for DVDs that are either so old that no one who buys DVDs wants them ("The Apple Dumpling Gang?") or were so hyped that they really over-ordered them and misplaced the demand ("SWAT?"). They're usually ten bucks or less, which is a big fucking blinking light to a DVD collector that says, "Hey man, this is cheap." Now, I'm a pretty big fan of Steve Martin, or at least his earlier work and not so much "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." One of the sub-ten-dollar DVDs at Target on this particular evening happened to be "Roxanne," a late-80's retelling of the play Cyranno de Bergerac, with Martin in the Cyranno role with an obnoxiously long synthetic nose. I've long remembered this movie for one of its best lines, where two schmucks are making fun of Martin's character on a tennis court. He approaches them and says, "Boy, I really like your shoes. I like them a lot, but I wouldn't want to be in them" then proceeds to beats them up. Or maybe he walks away. I don't remember.
Where was I going with this? Oh, right. So I'd seen "Roxanne" in high school, when channel 11 would play it constantly along with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn's "Overboard." It's a funny, sweet little romantic comedy. At least I think it is. You see, the last time I saw it was back in those high school days. I bought it at Target that day with my parents (or more likely it was bought for me, thanks Mom and Dad) fully intending to watch it, and now it's four years later and I still have not.
The list of my unwatched DVDs balloons from there. I own all six "Leprechaun" movies, but have never watched "Leprechaun 2." I got the "Batman- Legacy" box set for Christmas, and still haven't' touched "Batman Forever" or "Batman and Robin" (maybe that's a good thing, though). I bought the complete run of the short-lived TV show "The Flash" earlier this year and didn't make it past the first disc (of seven). I have "Ghoulies" on DVD from a bundled eBay purchase, and have still never attempted to watch it. "Mom and Dad Save the World?" Damn Wal-Mart and it's dirt cheap DVDs...
I don't really have a point here except to highlight the fact that sometimes my desire to fuel my collection eclipses my common sense. I'll close with one more DVD related anecdote that is actually about a friend of mine, not me., though we do have the same name. Just last week, for the first time that I've ever noticed - and I watch these kinds of things diligently - the big two electronics giants (Best Buy and Circuit City) were selling a large swath of DVDs for a scant $4. I'm the guy who bought "Bedazzled" for $20 when it first came out, so DVDs for a fifth of that is a big deal. My friend and I swarmed to the hallowed halls of DVD sales and began to stock up. All told, I only bought two $4 movies, and one $7 movie, as well as a $15 Gamecube game. That put me in the red for $30, which is a pittance to what I sometimes drop. My friend however was much more taken by some of the better sales (and I would have been too if I didn't already have the DVDs involved). Let's just say in addition to $4 DVDs, "Futurama" sets were on sale for $20 each (and usually sold for more than double that) and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" sets were $22 each (not as large a drop, but still a great buy).
All told, my friend dropped roughly $100 in one night, lamenting it immediately since he was trying to save money for his new apartment. I, being a good friend, consoled him by telling him that it'd be ok and that he now had countless hours of phenomenal entertainment. Still, I was the one playing devil's advocate encouraging him to buy them in the first place.
Anyway, the next day I get a message from him saying roughly the following. "Man, I got home last night. I didn't even know what I had bought. It's a blur. I'm looking in the bag and I'm like, "Black Sheep?" What the fuck?"
I love a good DVD sale, and in all honesty, not joking at all, as soon as this is published, I'm off to Best Buy. This week "American Psycho" is $4, and I almost bought it last week for $10. In a way, I'm about to make $6. In another, more accurate way, I have an unhealthy DVD problem.
As a final note, the whole reason I started writing this is because I just received a whole buttload of free DVDs. Where I work, on occasion we get some freebies from a distributor that we are friendly with, and I am the second one to get picks. Today was the jackpot, by far, with a number of DVDs for TV shows I actually like. What's that, free copy of Rodney Dangerfield's "Ladybugs?" You want to come home with me? Absolutely.
There's a wonderful spot for you, right under "The Rocketeer."
But of my many things, the two biggest and most important are my two most sprawling and massive collections: my DVDs and my comics. Comics are great, but not what I want to talk about here. I'm sure there will be plenty more of that down the line, believe me. Today, I want to talk about my DVD collection. I can't really recall a day in recent memory where I haven't had a DVD on for at least some portion of my day, and there certainly hasn't been a week since I began working where I haven't purchased a DVD. On Sundays, the first thing I do is grab the paper, pluck out the Best Buy and Circuit City circulars and check out who has the best deals for what DVDs. In a nice way, I'm a DVD collector, but in a not so nice way, I have an unhealthy problem when it comes to buying DVDs.
The greatest problem with my collection lies in the fact that it takes time to watch a DVD, often 10 hours for some of the better special editions with commentaries and such, yet it's a relatively spontaneous process for me to buy them. ("UHF is only $6? Yoink!") I have a fairly large and growing collection (which you can peruse virtually, here) and I simply don't have the time to watch anywhere near the full amount of content on these DVDs. So, there are a lot of DVDs that I have, but have never watched. That seems strange to me, the rational being. Case in point, a few weeks ago I was reading a list about the best comic book movies ever, and a little remembered movie called "The Rocketeer" graced the list. (I didn't even know it was a comic.) I remember when the movie came out my older brother was a pretty big fan of it and when we subsequently went to DisneyWorld in 1992 or so, The Rocketeer had breakfast with us at one of those character meet and greet meals that Disney does. (Chip and Dale were there too, how cool is that!)
Anyway, I hadn't seen the movie in a good thirteen years, barely remembering what it was about aside from a rocket pack, Jennifer Conolly, and a lot of Nazis. The discover that Terry O'Quinn, Lost's John Locke, played Howard Hughes in the movie ignited within a burning drive to possess "The Rocketeer." I like comics, I like Locke, I like the episode of "Arrested Development" where George Michael gets a rocket pack. Ipso facto, I like "The Rocketeer" (Yes, this is an accurate representation of how my brain works.)
Now, the Rocketeer came out in the very early 90's and had been released in early 2000 as a bare bones DVD (meaning 'special features' that include "Brand New Menus!" and "Theatrical Trailer!" an albatross for serious DVD collectors as myself). It was older and pretty obscure, and that means it was hard to find and it was expensive. Not markedly so, but if you don't buy a DVD at Best Buy or Circuit City, you're overpaying for it, and they didn't have it. So I bought "The Rocketeer" at an overpriced store for about $16. (I actually got it in a sale that was buy 2 for $25; the other movie I got, "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" is a favorite of mine that I had long wished to own.) This extremely boring and long-winded story about "The Rocketeer" culminates in the following punchline: It's been about a month, and I still have not watched the damn movie.
And this is something I was getting borderline crazed about. "I must buy 'The Rocketeer!'" crazed. Then I got it, suffered some mild mockery from my peers (to the tune of, 'Why would you buy a Disney movie from 15 years ago?' to 'Dude... The Rocketeer?'), and it's been sitting under a pile of other DVDs for weeks now.
And this wasn't a one time thing. When I was a freshman in college, I distinctly remember one weekend when my parents were up. The common thing to do with my parents was to go to the mall (I wonder how I developed my love of spending...), specifically to Target. Target often has sales for DVDs that are either so old that no one who buys DVDs wants them ("The Apple Dumpling Gang?") or were so hyped that they really over-ordered them and misplaced the demand ("SWAT?"). They're usually ten bucks or less, which is a big fucking blinking light to a DVD collector that says, "Hey man, this is cheap." Now, I'm a pretty big fan of Steve Martin, or at least his earlier work and not so much "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." One of the sub-ten-dollar DVDs at Target on this particular evening happened to be "Roxanne," a late-80's retelling of the play Cyranno de Bergerac, with Martin in the Cyranno role with an obnoxiously long synthetic nose. I've long remembered this movie for one of its best lines, where two schmucks are making fun of Martin's character on a tennis court. He approaches them and says, "Boy, I really like your shoes. I like them a lot, but I wouldn't want to be in them" then proceeds to beats them up. Or maybe he walks away. I don't remember.
Where was I going with this? Oh, right. So I'd seen "Roxanne" in high school, when channel 11 would play it constantly along with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn's "Overboard." It's a funny, sweet little romantic comedy. At least I think it is. You see, the last time I saw it was back in those high school days. I bought it at Target that day with my parents (or more likely it was bought for me, thanks Mom and Dad) fully intending to watch it, and now it's four years later and I still have not.
The list of my unwatched DVDs balloons from there. I own all six "Leprechaun" movies, but have never watched "Leprechaun 2." I got the "Batman- Legacy" box set for Christmas, and still haven't' touched "Batman Forever" or "Batman and Robin" (maybe that's a good thing, though). I bought the complete run of the short-lived TV show "The Flash" earlier this year and didn't make it past the first disc (of seven). I have "Ghoulies" on DVD from a bundled eBay purchase, and have still never attempted to watch it. "Mom and Dad Save the World?" Damn Wal-Mart and it's dirt cheap DVDs...
I don't really have a point here except to highlight the fact that sometimes my desire to fuel my collection eclipses my common sense. I'll close with one more DVD related anecdote that is actually about a friend of mine, not me., though we do have the same name. Just last week, for the first time that I've ever noticed - and I watch these kinds of things diligently - the big two electronics giants (Best Buy and Circuit City) were selling a large swath of DVDs for a scant $4. I'm the guy who bought "Bedazzled" for $20 when it first came out, so DVDs for a fifth of that is a big deal. My friend and I swarmed to the hallowed halls of DVD sales and began to stock up. All told, I only bought two $4 movies, and one $7 movie, as well as a $15 Gamecube game. That put me in the red for $30, which is a pittance to what I sometimes drop. My friend however was much more taken by some of the better sales (and I would have been too if I didn't already have the DVDs involved). Let's just say in addition to $4 DVDs, "Futurama" sets were on sale for $20 each (and usually sold for more than double that) and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" sets were $22 each (not as large a drop, but still a great buy).
All told, my friend dropped roughly $100 in one night, lamenting it immediately since he was trying to save money for his new apartment. I, being a good friend, consoled him by telling him that it'd be ok and that he now had countless hours of phenomenal entertainment. Still, I was the one playing devil's advocate encouraging him to buy them in the first place.
Anyway, the next day I get a message from him saying roughly the following. "Man, I got home last night. I didn't even know what I had bought. It's a blur. I'm looking in the bag and I'm like, "Black Sheep?" What the fuck?"
I love a good DVD sale, and in all honesty, not joking at all, as soon as this is published, I'm off to Best Buy. This week "American Psycho" is $4, and I almost bought it last week for $10. In a way, I'm about to make $6. In another, more accurate way, I have an unhealthy DVD problem.
As a final note, the whole reason I started writing this is because I just received a whole buttload of free DVDs. Where I work, on occasion we get some freebies from a distributor that we are friendly with, and I am the second one to get picks. Today was the jackpot, by far, with a number of DVDs for TV shows I actually like. What's that, free copy of Rodney Dangerfield's "Ladybugs?" You want to come home with me? Absolutely.
There's a wonderful spot for you, right under "The Rocketeer."
Thursday, August 03, 2006
This Week in Comics - 08-02-06
I'm gonna do this so super fast that even if you don't care you might actually read it. Light week for me this week, which just means I'll spend more money on my other vices (DVDs, the movie thaters, Taco Bell/Wendy's/White Castle...) Let's press on:
Fifty Two Week 13 - DC - You either read 52 or yoiu don't, and no one's going to start reading now if they haven't been all along. This week, Black Adam is in love with the demi-god woman he created last week. It's kind of boring, and the two of them go off freeing children slaves, then giving them sanctuary in Adam's nation of Kahndaq. It's ok, but nothing great. The better part of the issue focuses on Elongated Man disrupting the ritual of the Cult of Conner resurrection cult. A good twist and a very dark, disturbing, and psychologically damaging point for the character. I doubt he'll be appearing in the book for a few weeks, but he'll definitely be back. And there's some creepy guy in the shadows watching him in the last panel. Smells important to me... "B"
Detective Comics #822 - DC - Two issues in and I am really liking Paul Dini's run. I mean, the man crafted "Batman: The Animated Series," so how could this not be good? This issue Batman teams up with a newly reformed Riddler, who has taken a job as a freelance police detective. Very funny interactions between Bats and the Riddler, but there's a good four pages at the end that are a voice talking on a phone while another character reacts. A little weak and not too visually enticing. All in all, a very good issue featuring one of my favorite Batman villains. "A-"
The All New Atom #2 - DC - This book is just weird but for some reason I really like it. The plot was concieved by Grant Morrison (and it's very reminiscent of "The Filth" in some ways) but it's written by Gail Simone who brings a touch more emotion to the book. I have no idea what's going on with the overarching plot, and it's a little far-fetched that young nubile college women would be so attracted to an Asian physics professor who is fresh off the boat (is that racist, I apologize if it is), but it makes for a good read. The quotes every few panels from famous scientists is a nice touch, but I can't see it lasting too many more issues. Great book for anyone who likes science, superheroes, and weird bug aliens that live in the sewer. The twist at the end is very clearly a set-up, but I'll see where it's going. Recommended. "A-"
Invincible #34 - Image - I love, love, love this book. Mark deals with the reprecussions of brutally slaughtering Angstrom Levy, as well as the slight problem that he's in another dimension with no way out. It's a bit of a deus ex machina how he gets out, but I'll buy it because Kirkman pulls it off well and Ottley provides such great art. Hopefully the wheels of romance are finally turning for Mark and Eve. Bout time. Good bits with the Mauler twins as well, and glad to see that Robot isn't actually evil (or is he?) "B+"
Uncanny X-Men #477 - Marvel - BORING. And the first two issues showed such promise, too. Frankly, I expect more from Brubaker who uses this issue to forcefeed his new villain, Vulcan, down our throats. I'm pretty sure no X-Men actually appeared in it. Vulcan sucks. His plan is stupid, his powers are generic and nonsensical, and his origin is contrived and relatively impossible. Oh, and he's Cyclops and Havok's brother from a forgotten mid-90's storyline that no one but geekier folk than I care about. And this issue focuses on him. Bring back Warpath, he's way more interesting. "D"
Ultimate Spider-Man #98 - Marvel - The Ultimate Clone Saga progresses and there's at least one predictable plot twist: Gwen Stacy is back, alive and well. Mary Jane is kidnapped, Peter visits the Fantastic Four (who, I feel, are written way out of character than they are in their own book), and there's a bunch of clones running around. I'm fairly positive the Spider-Woman Peter talked to was some kind of female clone of himself, but time will tell. I don't know where Bendis is going with this, but I know I'm not going to miss it and so far, it hasn't thrilled me. Nice art though. "C+"
And that's it for me. Back to work then. I have some tasks that I really need to take head on. (Apply directly to the forehead.)
Fifty Two Week 13 - DC - You either read 52 or yoiu don't, and no one's going to start reading now if they haven't been all along. This week, Black Adam is in love with the demi-god woman he created last week. It's kind of boring, and the two of them go off freeing children slaves, then giving them sanctuary in Adam's nation of Kahndaq. It's ok, but nothing great. The better part of the issue focuses on Elongated Man disrupting the ritual of the Cult of Conner resurrection cult. A good twist and a very dark, disturbing, and psychologically damaging point for the character. I doubt he'll be appearing in the book for a few weeks, but he'll definitely be back. And there's some creepy guy in the shadows watching him in the last panel. Smells important to me... "B"
Detective Comics #822 - DC - Two issues in and I am really liking Paul Dini's run. I mean, the man crafted "Batman: The Animated Series," so how could this not be good? This issue Batman teams up with a newly reformed Riddler, who has taken a job as a freelance police detective. Very funny interactions between Bats and the Riddler, but there's a good four pages at the end that are a voice talking on a phone while another character reacts. A little weak and not too visually enticing. All in all, a very good issue featuring one of my favorite Batman villains. "A-"
The All New Atom #2 - DC - This book is just weird but for some reason I really like it. The plot was concieved by Grant Morrison (and it's very reminiscent of "The Filth" in some ways) but it's written by Gail Simone who brings a touch more emotion to the book. I have no idea what's going on with the overarching plot, and it's a little far-fetched that young nubile college women would be so attracted to an Asian physics professor who is fresh off the boat (is that racist, I apologize if it is), but it makes for a good read. The quotes every few panels from famous scientists is a nice touch, but I can't see it lasting too many more issues. Great book for anyone who likes science, superheroes, and weird bug aliens that live in the sewer. The twist at the end is very clearly a set-up, but I'll see where it's going. Recommended. "A-"
Invincible #34 - Image - I love, love, love this book. Mark deals with the reprecussions of brutally slaughtering Angstrom Levy, as well as the slight problem that he's in another dimension with no way out. It's a bit of a deus ex machina how he gets out, but I'll buy it because Kirkman pulls it off well and Ottley provides such great art. Hopefully the wheels of romance are finally turning for Mark and Eve. Bout time. Good bits with the Mauler twins as well, and glad to see that Robot isn't actually evil (or is he?) "B+"
Uncanny X-Men #477 - Marvel - BORING. And the first two issues showed such promise, too. Frankly, I expect more from Brubaker who uses this issue to forcefeed his new villain, Vulcan, down our throats. I'm pretty sure no X-Men actually appeared in it. Vulcan sucks. His plan is stupid, his powers are generic and nonsensical, and his origin is contrived and relatively impossible. Oh, and he's Cyclops and Havok's brother from a forgotten mid-90's storyline that no one but geekier folk than I care about. And this issue focuses on him. Bring back Warpath, he's way more interesting. "D"
Ultimate Spider-Man #98 - Marvel - The Ultimate Clone Saga progresses and there's at least one predictable plot twist: Gwen Stacy is back, alive and well. Mary Jane is kidnapped, Peter visits the Fantastic Four (who, I feel, are written way out of character than they are in their own book), and there's a bunch of clones running around. I'm fairly positive the Spider-Woman Peter talked to was some kind of female clone of himself, but time will tell. I don't know where Bendis is going with this, but I know I'm not going to miss it and so far, it hasn't thrilled me. Nice art though. "C+"
And that's it for me. Back to work then. I have some tasks that I really need to take head on. (Apply directly to the forehead.)
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
My Mind Has Melted
It's over a hundred degrees in New York City today, so it should go without saying that it's fucking hot. Though I rest on my laurels in my air-conditioned office building, I've hit the mid-day doldrums like a sprinter running through a barb wire fence. As such, I find that I'm unable to do my job and should request that I go home early. I'm trying to write up a review of a book my company publishes for our internal website, and dang it, if my brain didn't just up and die while I was halfway through it. Here's what I had come up with...
The I Chong
by Tommy Chong
When the police arrived on Tommy Chong's doorstep one morning, he had expected it to be a pretty cut and dry marijuana charge. He is, after all, Tommy Chong. But it turned out that the feds had arrived to arrest the mother fucker. Man, ain't that a b? Nigga done went to jail and shit, but s'allright, he wrote a book. Book backwards is koob. KOOB. Buy the book. Koob the yub. Yub yub yub. Tis a good book. S'a very good book. boooooooook. muuuuuuuuh. fargle blaringle glor shmug fazzini terererpin gorgo syztek.
In conclusion, I highly recommend this book to any and all fans.
Man, I gotta go home and go to sleep....
The I Chong
by Tommy Chong
When the police arrived on Tommy Chong's doorstep one morning, he had expected it to be a pretty cut and dry marijuana charge. He is, after all, Tommy Chong. But it turned out that the feds had arrived to arrest the mother fucker. Man, ain't that a b? Nigga done went to jail and shit, but s'allright, he wrote a book. Book backwards is koob. KOOB. Buy the book. Koob the yub. Yub yub yub. Tis a good book. S'a very good book. boooooooook. muuuuuuuuh. fargle blaringle glor shmug fazzini terererpin gorgo syztek.
In conclusion, I highly recommend this book to any and all fans.
Man, I gotta go home and go to sleep....
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