Those who know me personally know that I am a big fan of the television show "Jeopardy!" The once great quiz show format is now-relegated to being the smarter older brother of "Wheel of Fortune," and that's ok, because America is pretty dumb by and large and "Wheel" makes people feel smart.
Anyway, one part of "Jeopardy!" as of late has not been too smart. It's been downright creepy and strange and if it wasn't coming from the coveted commercial spots between Alex's bad jokes I'd swear it was a joke. I am referring to one of "Jeopardy!'s" new sponsors, and their completely insane commerical: Head-On. (Apply directly to the forehead.)
The makers of Head-On (Apply directly to the forehead.) decided that the world's headache medication was lacking. Instead of simple, easy to swallow pills like your Tylenols or Advils, what you really need to do is tackle problem "Head on" (Apply directly to the forehead.) by, well, applying an ointment directly to your forehead. It's basically a deodorant can that you use on your forehead that somehow penetrates the skull and claims to relieve headaches. Nevermind that fact that this product is completely insane and would render a user completely idiotic if anyone ever saw them using it. The commerical is mind control, pure and simple.
If you haven't seen it here's a summary:
(A zombie-like woman stares into space while rubbing a can on her forehead.)
"Head-On. (Apply directly to the forehead.)"
"Head-On. (Apply directly to the forehead.)"
"Head-On. (Apply directly to the forehead.)"
(end)
It's baffling, it's strange, it's amazing! What a great idea for a mind control/advertisement. Just repeat your message in a monotone voice while a zoftic woman stares into the distance and makes you feel dirty for even watching it. What's next? Beer commericals?
"Budweiser. Apply directly to the liver."
Let's just hope the makers of Head-On (Apply directly to the forehead.) don't come up with a herpes mediciation anytime soon. "Head-On. Apply directly to the nutsack."
Something tells me they won't show that commercial on "Jeopardy!"
(Watch the amazingly disturbing and 100% true commercial for "Head-On"(Apply directly to the forehead.)
Showing posts with label advertising i don't understand. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advertising i don't understand. Show all posts
Monday, July 31, 2006
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Mysteries Abound on the BQE
It's a downright pain in my nuts to wake up at the morning's asscrack and rally myself to stand in line with other zombies to patiently wait for the bus. Sometimes, (read: everyday), the bus is full and we have to wait for the next one. That's the fun way of saying I could have slept an extra five or ten minutes, and God knows, I would have liked to.
Still, you see some interesting things from the tinted window that hobbles along the BQE. I mean, sure there's landmarks and crap, some lame green statue, but I care not for history. I thrive on the mass medias. That's why billboards are the stars of my morning show.
For instance, did you know that the characters on USA's "Psych" are fake psychics, but are still in fact, real detectives? I wasn't convinced the first six hundred times I saw that one, but on that six hundred and oneth, I was sold. (And am now obligated to watch "Psych," a pretty good show, actually.)
But not all advertisements are so straightforward. For at least a week, passing along on the BQE, I would see a very bizarre billboard that was completely red, save for the lone words printed in yellow: "I pooted." Confused, excited, and a little bit hungry, I had no idea what to make of it all. Who pooted and why? Who benefits from the poot? Why would someone pay for the poot at all? Was it an unexpected poot or was this planned pootery? I expected the next billboard to provide the answers or even more questions, but alas, it did not. The mystery of the poot grew.
Eventually, I saw another sign that was also red and in the same yellow font displayed the words "My boogers itch." Snippets of forgotten Shakespeare on city billboards? (Few people know that in the tragic climax of Romeo and Juliet, the bard originally had penned "My boogers itch" as Romeo's last words. Only when his wife was on the can with explosive diarrhea did he change it to what it is now: "I done pooted.")
Anyway, the booger sign was different because it wasn't just solid red with text. My eyes met the friendly face of Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, gazing at me with his Rhodes Scholar stare and a prying egg beater that got all up in his nostril. There was also an updated Cartoon Network logo, with their new tagline, "Yes!"
Now it all partially made sense. The pooter was clearly a ruse to get more people interested in cartoons. Lo and behold, the next time I saw the poot sign on the highway there was the new CN logo as well as a character from what I would assume is Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I will never understand why they left a billboard as confusing and bizarre as "I pooted" unfinished for so long. Did they intentionally want to drive the morning commuters batty before work? Am I just reading too much into it? Can the family understand the baby, or what's the deal with that?
Oh well, some questions will never be answered. Like what "Nougatacity" means, but that dear friends, is an entirely different billboard all together.
Still, you see some interesting things from the tinted window that hobbles along the BQE. I mean, sure there's landmarks and crap, some lame green statue, but I care not for history. I thrive on the mass medias. That's why billboards are the stars of my morning show.
For instance, did you know that the characters on USA's "Psych" are fake psychics, but are still in fact, real detectives? I wasn't convinced the first six hundred times I saw that one, but on that six hundred and oneth, I was sold. (And am now obligated to watch "Psych," a pretty good show, actually.)
But not all advertisements are so straightforward. For at least a week, passing along on the BQE, I would see a very bizarre billboard that was completely red, save for the lone words printed in yellow: "I pooted." Confused, excited, and a little bit hungry, I had no idea what to make of it all. Who pooted and why? Who benefits from the poot? Why would someone pay for the poot at all? Was it an unexpected poot or was this planned pootery? I expected the next billboard to provide the answers or even more questions, but alas, it did not. The mystery of the poot grew.
Eventually, I saw another sign that was also red and in the same yellow font displayed the words "My boogers itch." Snippets of forgotten Shakespeare on city billboards? (Few people know that in the tragic climax of Romeo and Juliet, the bard originally had penned "My boogers itch" as Romeo's last words. Only when his wife was on the can with explosive diarrhea did he change it to what it is now: "I done pooted.")
Anyway, the booger sign was different because it wasn't just solid red with text. My eyes met the friendly face of Billy from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, gazing at me with his Rhodes Scholar stare and a prying egg beater that got all up in his nostril. There was also an updated Cartoon Network logo, with their new tagline, "Yes!"
Now it all partially made sense. The pooter was clearly a ruse to get more people interested in cartoons. Lo and behold, the next time I saw the poot sign on the highway there was the new CN logo as well as a character from what I would assume is Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I will never understand why they left a billboard as confusing and bizarre as "I pooted" unfinished for so long. Did they intentionally want to drive the morning commuters batty before work? Am I just reading too much into it? Can the family understand the baby, or what's the deal with that?
Oh well, some questions will never be answered. Like what "Nougatacity" means, but that dear friends, is an entirely different billboard all together.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)