iTunes Musings....

If my iTunes is to be believed (and it is, it meticulously captures every thing I listen to anywhere, and is extremely anally refined on daily basis by me. We all have our things...), the only two albums from 2009 that I have really liked and played often are MSTRKRFT's Fist of God and The Thermals' Now We Can See. I thought that was kind of weird and random. MSTRKRFT had a few heavy weeks of play after I got it, but The Thermals, no surprise there as that is just a damn good album and "When I Died" may just be the best song ever. But still, I do get a lot of music (I can't recommend eMusic highly enough, especially since they now have major label stuff), so I thought it was weird.

And then I realized, no, no its not weird at all. In the past year I have mostly gotten and listened to what could be characterized as two distinct spheres of music: old sad bastard/country music (lots of Johnny Cash, and recently, Elvis, Carl Perkins, Willie Nelson, and old favorite Ryan Adams) and 90s rock/indie (including Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Metallica, Pavement, The Get-Up Kids, and a hell of a lot of Soundgarden).

Clearly this means I am way way off of the pulse of the music community, but fuck it. Too much poseuring for my taste anyway. I'm pretty sure The Thermals are the tops for 2009.

Then again, in a library of 16,000 tracks, the Pokemon theme is the 3rd highest played with 43 listens, so what the fuck do I know.

Side note: The Thermals are great, but since I'm writing about music, I'd be ashamed to not mention The Gaslight Anthem and by far my most played 2008 album "The 59 Sound." If you listened to "Great Expectations" (a track-1 to rival "When I Died") alone, it would change your life.

Oh and as for random one-off songs I have been liking from 2009... I'm ashamed to say I really like that Sean Kingston song about the shorties burnin on the dance floor. And "Hold the Line" by Major Lazer is a solid track, though I haven't had enough interest to get the whole album. At least not yet...

What iTunes Can Really Say About You

I didn't want to make this an ultra-personal blog, but considering I never write in it anyway (i'm busy watching tv and stuff), I'll do just that.

I'm a little anal about my mp3 collection. I've had mp3s for about 10 years (pre Napster! does anyone else remember Scour Media Agent?) and through about 4 hard drives and 3 iPods. I love love love the metadata on each song and how you can track things, and make smart Playlists, and blah blah blah. I go through this kind of shit all the time, fine tuning the data and making new playlists. It's just fun for me.

Anyway, one of the most basic measures of an mp3 collection is the play count. I thought it'd be interesting to take a look at some of my top played songs as of July 4th...

#1 - The Will of One by The Protomen - 44 times

I love this song, but I'm pretty surprised it's the most played in my library. The Protomen are a band dedicated to playing a rock opera about Capcom video game hero, Mega Man. It's a hell of a lot better than that sounds and was my favorite album of 2006. But still... number 1? I would have thought a They Might Be Giants song would be up there...

#2 Ana Ng - They Might Be Giants - 39 times

Yep. That one doesn't surprise me at all. Probably my hands down favorite song of all time.

#3 - Pokemon - TV Theme - 35 times

I could justify this by saying that not only does this song have great music that puts me in a good mood and gets me excited about boring shit or that the cheeseball lyrics make me smile and I know all the words or that I genuinely like Pokemon, but you know what? Go fuck yourself. This is a jam.

#4 - Snakes on a Plane (Bring It) - Cobra Starship - 34 times

Kind of depressing that this is on here really (and I stand by Pokemon still). I listened to it A LOT in 2006 when SoaP was the rage. It's a catchy song but not really worthy of this vaunted spot.

#5 - From the Ritz to the Rubble - Arctic Monkeys - 32 times

Another no-brainer. Love love love this album and this song and Arctic Monkeys in general. They get a lot of backlash considering the considerably gushing praise they got when this album dropped, but they're one of my favorite bands so either accept that or go read some other blog. I am kind of surprised that I bet That You Look Good on the Dance Floor isn't in this spot, but it only pops up at #17, the next highest Monkeys song on my list.

#6 - The Fallen - Franz Ferdinand - 32 times

I don't LOVE Franz Ferdinand. I'm a fan, yeah. When their first album came out, I listened the shit out of it. Then their second one came, the one this song kicks off, and I was largely indifferent. THEN I saw them live and they rocked the shit, particularly this song, which is a most excellent track 1 to a mediocre/good album. Still, I did a play list of songs that I never have skipped (like once it comes on, I listen to it to the end every time) and this was the number one song in terms of play count and least times skipped. Weird.

#7 - Batman: Stage 1 - The Advantage - 30 times

I love Batman, I love Nintendo, I love covers of Nintendo songs. Not a lot of logic to this one. Just a great background tune to any activity.

#8 - Bust A Move - Young MC - 30 times

I also love late 80's and early 90's rap. This is just a damn good song and I am fairly sure I can sing it from start to finish. I think that's why I played it so much. Never know when that will come in handy. Incidentally, this whole album is pretty good.

#9 - Talk to Me - Stephen Lynch - 29 times

A comedic song about masturbation. I just think its catchy. Fun to sing along with in your head when you're walking down the street.

#10 - Tarzan Boy - Baltimora - 28 times

Um. I have no idea. I like this song. Weird that its so high up though.

#11 - This is Halloween - Danny Elfman - 28 times

The opener of The Nightmare Before Christmas, the best musical ever. And I only barely like musicals.

#12/13 - Kickapoo and The Pick of Destiny by Tenacious D - 28 times

Wouldn't make sense if the D didn't pop onto at least the top 15. These are the starting and closing songs respectively of their movie, which was only a decent flick, but had a stellar soundtrack.

#14 - Long Long Way From Home - Foreigner - 27 times

#15 - Nightrain - Guns n Roses - 27 times

Both self explanatory.

Thats all I got. It's late.

Tuesdays Suck

It is well-known, via Garfield comics and the movie "Office Space," that Mondays are no fun. I find this to be not entirely correct. When you get a good night's sleep, had a productive and fun weekend, and the skies are bright and sunny on a crisp Spring Monday morn, the return to the drudgery of life isn't all that bad. No my friends, we need to be wary of Tuesday, the bastard step-child of Monday.

Tuesday is by far the worst day of the week. You see, Monday starts it all off. It's like Track 1 of an album (are the kids still listening to albums these days?). If it's really great, you know this week is gonna kick a little ass. But if it's crap, well, you're gonna have to muddle through Tracks 2 and 3 to find out if this album is a winner or a sinner. Tuesday is like those crucial mid-album tracks and can make or break your week.

Wednesday is hump day. We all know that. You make it to Wednesday and the weekend isn't that far off any more. Thursday has a case of the Tuesdays, because it's not yet Friday but it is over the hump. But Lost is now on on Thursdays so it has an ace in its sleeves. Friday is obviously the best day of the week for many, many reasons.

But Tuesday... or "Bluesday" if you have a case of the "Tuesday Blues" ... sucks. All that Tuesday has going for it is that it is easily rhymed with "Blues" which only works for radio stations that play that sort of music and enjoy slant rhyme or for blogs that no one reads (see: this one.) Tuesday, you suck. If any day of my week could be removed, it's you. You're the appendix of the body that is the week. Completely useless, until you get infected and threaten to kill. Asshole.

NY Comic Con 2008

I went to Comic Con 2008 here in NYC and it was amazing. I don't have much to say about it except that it was awesome, Seth Green is hilarious (and very short) and walks around like a normal person, and next year we're getting the weekend pass because it really is too much for one day. Maybe I'll elaborate tomorrow.

Zangief: A Rope of Sand

Note: This article originally appeared on my old website, planetexplosivo.com, which no longer exists. For posterity's sake, this and many other articles from that site will be reposted here. This particular article was written in October 2005 and has not been changed or edited since, which is unfortunate, because I don't think it holds up very well over time. Had to bring this one back by popular demand though... Namely Zangief's.

OK, this one's a little different. I'd like you all to meet one of my friends. A rather unique one at that. I can't do him too much justice here, so read the full article. But I warn you; it's a bit in your face, like the man hisself. Or "Yo, MTV Raps!"

This article is going to be a little bit different than the usual Planet eXplosivo fare. Over the months this site has been up, we’ve looked at video games, a TV show based on a video game, and the new Star Wars movie. [2008 note: none of those articles are on here as of this posting, but they will be soon, except the Star Wars one. Don't worry, you won't miss it that much] OK, so we haven’t looked at all that much because of the lazy jackass who writes this crap… BUT! Today, we’re doing something different. We aren’t looking at how weird of a game “Anticipation!” for Nintendo was (though it was and I highly recommend you play it). No friends, today we’re going to meet someone. A strange, some might even say bizarre, individual who is a good friend of mine and would like to be a good friend of yours. I urge everyone to please be brave, prepare to be somewhat disgusted, and get ready for Zangief.

[NOTE: Due to the alarming amount of racism found herein, all instances of a particular ‘n-word’ ethnic slur has been replaced, by science, to be read as characters from popular 80’s cartoon show “He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.”]

"Come drink with me."

Let me give you some background on this enigmatic character, who stalks a certain college campus in Ithaca, and on how he and I became acquainted. In a fraternity, we pull in a pledge class of new members each spring. One of my good friends, Black-Out Baum, had met this brash and bright-eyed youth, who would soon be reborn as the man-monster Zangief. Whereas he may have been part human before, Zangief is all animal and quite likely part zombie.

Here we see Zangief give his former roommate a big hug

Zangief, as most patrons of this site should know, is the namesake of the hairy Russian wrestler in arcade legend “Street Fighter II.” Well, being a hairy Russian, he was given the pledge name of Zangief on his first night in our fraternity and such he has been ever since. In fact, no one remembered his birth name until this article’s publication. Even him. He takes on some of the less charming qualities of his video game equivalent. He sure is Russian, he sure is big, hairy, and sweaty, and he will pile drive anything that breathes, given a chance. But it’s not how like the “real Zangief” he is that makes our Zangief so remarkable. It’s his delightful way with people. What follows are real stories, real quotes, and actual photographs of Zangief in action. It’s all true except for the stuff that I made up.

Put it back on. Please?

One of my personal favorite Zangief quotes was “Get your pick axes, we’re going to have a brain feast.” What did this stalwart young Russian mean when he encouraged myself and others to bear up arms and devour the flesh of the living? I maintain that Zangief is a zombie, a cannibal, or a zombie-cannibal that rises from the grave each night to consume the gooey innards of your skull. He also likes the fat bitches.

Splinter Cell Zangief. Not on Halloween

I’ve seen the bastard sit in his room for days on end playing “Splinter Cell” or “Jade Empire.” Speaking of his room, Zangief has taped his curtains down so that no natural light may penetrate his giant purple room. When questioned about this, Zangief simply said, “I don’t need any fucking “HE-MAN” light. Fucking waking you up in the morning, like a goddamned “BEAST MAN” .” He then finished off his glass of whiskey, pounding it down, and forced me to take shots with him. I awoke in a pool of what I hope was my own vomit several hours later. He was right; it was great to not have that light pour in each morning.

Kicked in the balls by a muppet...

Zangief is also very strong. He goes to the gym, unveils his excessively hairy body, and bench presses members of the math team. After he’s done, he funnels a 40 and punches through the wall. Swearing in Russian and clutching his fist, he’ll be so angry that he headbutts the wall and stumbles about with blood in his eyes, before finally passing out and awaking to play “Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.” “You gotta come hard or go home,” Zangief says. “It’s like a party. You can either be alone and drunk all night or you can get shit-faced and fuck a really nasty whore.”

Yep. Stepping on a chick

Ask anyone close to Zangief about his hobbies, and they all say the same thing: drinking. If competitive drinking was a sport, Zangief would be dead. Long dead. “Who doesn’t like fine spirits?” said Zangief. “I’ll tell you who. Fucking “SKELETOR” s!” His liver is either extremely weak or extremely strong due to the phenomenal amount of alcohol it must process on a daily basis. I asked Zangief where he thinks he gets his love of alcohol. He had this to say: “When I was eight, my dad sat me down. He said, ‘Elia, live your life like a hurricane. Destroy as much as possible, be full of hot air, and always spin counter-clockwise.’ Then he gave me a bottle of Jack and I blacked out for the first time.”

But certainly not the last! Whether it be passing out in the hallway and constructing a Fortress of Solitude, tackling and choking unsuspecting bystanders, or stealing anything not bolted down from absolutely anywhere, it’s a guaranteed good-time when this roustabout gets tipsy. “YOU FUCKING “ORKO” -STEINS!” Zangief exclaimed. “I’LL FUCK YOUR SISTER AND YOUR MOTHER AND THEN SHIT ON YOUR FACE!” Zangief is also a devout member of the Jewish faith.

I asked Zangief if he had any words of advice for any potential readers out there who may not have had the pleasure of meeting him in person. “Get out of my room you fucking “SHE-RA.” I swear I’ll kill you and your stupid website. I’ll kill it until you die. [Bottles smashing; bloodcurdling screams] Never shop at Circuit City.” Truer words were never spoken.

The next morning, when asked if he had any parting words, Zangief had this to say: “Quoting yourself makes you seem educated and well respected by others. Oh, and of course, Jersey rules!” It won’t and Jersey certainly doesn’t.

Words do nothing.

Zangief appears frequently in my nightmares and even more frequently in the gutter on the streets outside of the Collegetown bars. To schedule a meeting with him e-mail me.

My Mind Has Melted

It's over a hundred degrees in New York City today, so it should go without saying that it's fucking hot. Though I rest on my laurels in my air-conditioned office building, I've hit the mid-day doldrums like a sprinter running through a barb wire fence. As such, I find that I'm unable to do my job and should request that I go home early. I'm trying to write up a review of a book my company publishes for our internal website, and dang it, if my brain didn't just up and die while I was halfway through it. Here's what I had come up with...

The I Chong
by Tommy Chong

When the police arrived on Tommy Chong's doorstep one morning, he had expected it to be a pretty cut and dry marijuana charge. He is, after all, Tommy Chong. But it turned out that the feds had arrived to arrest the mother fucker. Man, ain't that a b? Nigga done went to jail and shit, but s'allright, he wrote a book. Book backwards is koob. KOOB. Buy the book. Koob the yub. Yub yub yub. Tis a good book. S'a very good book. boooooooook. muuuuuuuuh. fargle blaringle glor shmug fazzini terererpin gorgo syztek.

In conclusion, I highly recommend this book to any and all fans.

Man, I gotta go home and go to sleep....