Welcome to the Sexatorium!

My incoherent babbling has gone un-vented for far too long. I'm back. I refuse to use the word blog however, so "sexatorium" will replace that word from here on out.

Sample dialogue from "Juno" as it would be told in my sexatorium:

Juno: Blippity bloppity, home slicer.
Stupid Friend: Swear to sexatorium, Juno!

I Might Be Giant Too

I did this same thing on my LiveJournal years ago and I thought it was a pretty cool little thing. Describe yourself using only song titles from your favorite band. Then, I did it using Radiohead and it turned out pretty gosh dern good. Today, I'm doing the same thing with my other all tiem #1 favorite band, They Might Be Giants. Enjoy...

Describe yourself using one band and song titles from that band
Choose a band/artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band::	They Might Be Giants
Are you male or female::	Particle Man
Describe yourself::	Hypnotist of Ladies, SEXXY, Am I Awake?, Your Racist Friend
How do some people feel about you::	Kiss Me Son of God, My Man
How do you feel about yourself::	I Palindrome I
Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend::	Your Own Worst Enemy
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend::	A Self Called Nowhere
Describe where you want to be::	The Statue Got Me High, Road Movie to Berlin
Describe what you want to be::	Rabid Child, Spy, I Should Be Allowed To Think
Describe how you live::	Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes, Experimental Film
Describe how you love::	Birdhouse in Your Soul, Finished With Lies
Share a few words of wisdom:	You'll Miss Me, Now Is Strange, We've Got a World That Swings
Take this survey Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Maybe tomorrow I'll make a real post. I got a lot of beef with the world...

This Week in Comics - 08-09-06

Comics. Funny books. Graphic literature. You get it, I know. Here's what's what...

Ultimate X-Men #73 - Marvel - Pretty standard mid-issue for a three issue arc. The Professor informs the X-Men that new recruit, Magician, is not what he seems. X-Men fight Magician. And that's all that really happens here, which isn't to say it's bad. Tom Raney's art is a bit cramped at times (like when every X-Man has a projectile coming at Magician) but for some reason I really liked it. The coloring reminded me of mid-90's X-Books, which is a good thing (as long as the plots don't do that). Last issue was point A, next issue is point B, but you need a little bit of journey in there and that's this issue. "B"

Civil War: Front Line #5 - Marvel - Speedball gets out of Earth prison and goes to the Negative Zone prison with Typeface and various C-List and D-List anti-heroes. Sally Floyd, the journalist trying to find Captain America, gets arrested. Ben Urich gets fired from The Daily Bugle because it couldn't possibly have been the Green Goblin who attacked him. Wonder Man cheated on his taxes and now has to track down the Atlantean Sleeper Agent. I've just saved you $3. I like the idea of this series alot more than I like reading it, but it's pretty much necessary to follow Civil War. Oh well. "C+"

Fantasic Four: First Family #6 of 6 - Marvel - Why did they never put a recap page on this book? I have no idea what the hell is going in it. I thought it was a re-telling of the Four's origins, but instead it's a fight with some crazed being with god-like powers... which accurately describes nearly all of the FF's foes. I think I need to re-read all of these to make sense of it, but at the same time, I never want to read it again. I'm surprised I bought all of this. A little saddened by it too. "C"

Fifty Two Week 14 - DC - It's going to cost $130 to read this series in its entireity. I could have bought booze with that money. What? Oh yeah, stuff happens in this issue and it's all very, very interesting for fans of Renee Montoya, the Metal Men, and ... actually I just finished it and I don't remember who else was in it. Inexplicably, there's a back-up Metamorpho strip. I'd have thought it'd be Superman or Batman for the second of these, but no. Metamorpho. This series makes me like The Question less because he's hanging around with a mean-spirited lesbian and trapsing off into the Middle East. And where is Booster Gold? Or Animal Man and Adam Strange? Thank God, in another month, Lobo returns in this book. "C"

Beyond! #2 (of 6) - Marvel - This is a very, very strange little mini-series. Ostensibly, this is Secret Wars redux part 3 (or is 4 now?) and most fanboys can surmise the Secret Wars, but for those who cannot, here's the deal. There's a god-like being called the Beyonder who took heroes and villains to a place called Battleworld and said he'd give the winners their heart's desires. Long story short, he's apparently back and has taken the weirdest friggin' group of characters ever assembled and thrown them into space with absolutely no promotion from the Marvel marketing department. This is a book where we have original Avengers the Wasp and Giant Man, as well as the new bootleg Venom - who used to be Scorpion, for those keeping score, the new bootleg Kraven, and the narrator of the story, little-known newbie hero Gravity, whose mini last year was one of my fav's. Last issue, heroes got abducted and Venom killed Spider-Man. This issue, Venom goes crazy, the ship crash lands, and Deathlok comes back out of absolutely nowhere. Casual comics fans should avoid this book like the plague, but if you like random characters doing things for random reasons (and I must say, I do) check it out. "B+"

Secret Six #3 (of 6) - DC - What is this, confuse the reader week? No recap page to found, and I have no idea what the point of this book is anymore. I know it has Catman and Deadshot and its about villains. Vandal Savage's daughter, Scandal needs to have a baby or Vandal will kill her except she's a lesbian (there are a lot of those nowadays at DC...). I don't even know what I just read, What a terribly confusing week. Oh, the Doom Patrol shows up and the Mad Hatter may or may not epileptic. And a naked chick. "B-"

Superman #655 - DC - Thankfully, there are no backwards talking robots or random cuts to Firestorm and Nightwing like in the last ish of Action Comics. Clark is on his way to Kazhkstan (insert Borat joke here) and goes off to save his scientist friend Callie. Nothing exemplary here, but that's fine by me. If you want to see Superman fly around and save people, here's a good place to start. Some ongoing plots are advanced and some new ones start up. I'm not sure how I feel about this Subjekt 17 villain. He looks like another super-strong invulnerable lunk who can hit Superman very hard. Seems like there's a lot of those floating around, so why make a new one up? I'll see where this is going before I pass my judgment. Vast improvement over the last Action Comics.

Ultimate Spider-Man Annual #2 - Marvel - Spidey. Kingpin. Punisher. Daredevil. Moon Knight. Lots of blood, guns, and ass-kicking. Sound good? You bet your ass it does. "A"

That's all the time we have for today folks. See you in the funny books.

The DVD Collector's Lament

If I had to pinpoint my biggest vice in this world, it would have to be my love of things. I really, really like to buy things. I especially like to get a good deal on the things that I like. I like to display the things I own and promote conversation concerning my things. It's not that I brag about my things, it's just that my things are an essential part of my being, and I'm vain and like to talk about myself. I am a gestalt of the things I own, and the things I own are pretty friggin' sweet.

But of my many things, the two biggest and most important are my two most sprawling and massive collections: my DVDs and my comics. Comics are great, but not what I want to talk about here. I'm sure there will be plenty more of that down the line, believe me. Today, I want to talk about my DVD collection. I can't really recall a day in recent memory where I haven't had a DVD on for at least some portion of my day, and there certainly hasn't been a week since I began working where I haven't purchased a DVD. On Sundays, the first thing I do is grab the paper, pluck out the Best Buy and Circuit City circulars and check out who has the best deals for what DVDs. In a nice way, I'm a DVD collector, but in a not so nice way, I have an unhealthy problem when it comes to buying DVDs.

The greatest problem with my collection lies in the fact that it takes time to watch a DVD, often 10 hours for some of the better special editions with commentaries and such, yet it's a relatively spontaneous process for me to buy them. ("UHF is only $6? Yoink!") I have a fairly large and growing collection (which you can peruse virtually, here) and I simply don't have the time to watch anywhere near the full amount of content on these DVDs. So, there are a lot of DVDs that I have, but have never watched. That seems strange to me, the rational being. Case in point, a few weeks ago I was reading a list about the best comic book movies ever, and a little remembered movie called "The Rocketeer" graced the list. (I didn't even know it was a comic.) I remember when the movie came out my older brother was a pretty big fan of it and when we subsequently went to DisneyWorld in 1992 or so, The Rocketeer had breakfast with us at one of those character meet and greet meals that Disney does. (Chip and Dale were there too, how cool is that!)

Anyway, I hadn't seen the movie in a good thirteen years, barely remembering what it was about aside from a rocket pack, Jennifer Conolly, and a lot of Nazis. The discover that Terry O'Quinn, Lost's John Locke, played Howard Hughes in the movie ignited within a burning drive to possess "The Rocketeer." I like comics, I like Locke, I like the episode of "Arrested Development" where George Michael gets a rocket pack. Ipso facto, I like "The Rocketeer" (Yes, this is an accurate representation of how my brain works.)

Now, the Rocketeer came out in the very early 90's and had been released in early 2000 as a bare bones DVD (meaning 'special features' that include "Brand New Menus!" and "Theatrical Trailer!" an albatross for serious DVD collectors as myself). It was older and pretty obscure, and that means it was hard to find and it was expensive. Not markedly so, but if you don't buy a DVD at Best Buy or Circuit City, you're overpaying for it, and they didn't have it. So I bought "The Rocketeer" at an overpriced store for about $16. (I actually got it in a sale that was buy 2 for $25; the other movie I got, "Batman: Mask of the Phantasm" is a favorite of mine that I had long wished to own.) This extremely boring and long-winded story about "The Rocketeer" culminates in the following punchline: It's been about a month, and I still have not watched the damn movie.

And this is something I was getting borderline crazed about. "I must buy 'The Rocketeer!'" crazed. Then I got it, suffered some mild mockery from my peers (to the tune of, 'Why would you buy a Disney movie from 15 years ago?' to 'Dude... The Rocketeer?'), and it's been sitting under a pile of other DVDs for weeks now.

And this wasn't a one time thing. When I was a freshman in college, I distinctly remember one weekend when my parents were up. The common thing to do with my parents was to go to the mall (I wonder how I developed my love of spending...), specifically to Target. Target often has sales for DVDs that are either so old that no one who buys DVDs wants them ("The Apple Dumpling Gang?") or were so hyped that they really over-ordered them and misplaced the demand ("SWAT?"). They're usually ten bucks or less, which is a big fucking blinking light to a DVD collector that says, "Hey man, this is cheap." Now, I'm a pretty big fan of Steve Martin, or at least his earlier work and not so much "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." One of the sub-ten-dollar DVDs at Target on this particular evening happened to be "Roxanne," a late-80's retelling of the play Cyranno de Bergerac, with Martin in the Cyranno role with an obnoxiously long synthetic nose. I've long remembered this movie for one of its best lines, where two schmucks are making fun of Martin's character on a tennis court. He approaches them and says, "Boy, I really like your shoes. I like them a lot, but I wouldn't want to be in them" then proceeds to beats them up. Or maybe he walks away. I don't remember.

Where was I going with this? Oh, right. So I'd seen "Roxanne" in high school, when channel 11 would play it constantly along with Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn's "Overboard." It's a funny, sweet little romantic comedy. At least I think it is. You see, the last time I saw it was back in those high school days. I bought it at Target that day with my parents (or more likely it was bought for me, thanks Mom and Dad) fully intending to watch it, and now it's four years later and I still have not.

The list of my unwatched DVDs balloons from there. I own all six "Leprechaun" movies, but have never watched "Leprechaun 2." I got the "Batman- Legacy" box set for Christmas, and still haven't' touched "Batman Forever" or "Batman and Robin" (maybe that's a good thing, though). I bought the complete run of the short-lived TV show "The Flash" earlier this year and didn't make it past the first disc (of seven). I have "Ghoulies" on DVD from a bundled eBay purchase, and have still never attempted to watch it. "Mom and Dad Save the World?" Damn Wal-Mart and it's dirt cheap DVDs...

I don't really have a point here except to highlight the fact that sometimes my desire to fuel my collection eclipses my common sense. I'll close with one more DVD related anecdote that is actually about a friend of mine, not me., though we do have the same name. Just last week, for the first time that I've ever noticed - and I watch these kinds of things diligently - the big two electronics giants (Best Buy and Circuit City) were selling a large swath of DVDs for a scant $4. I'm the guy who bought "Bedazzled" for $20 when it first came out, so DVDs for a fifth of that is a big deal. My friend and I swarmed to the hallowed halls of DVD sales and began to stock up. All told, I only bought two $4 movies, and one $7 movie, as well as a $15 Gamecube game. That put me in the red for $30, which is a pittance to what I sometimes drop. My friend however was much more taken by some of the better sales (and I would have been too if I didn't already have the DVDs involved). Let's just say in addition to $4 DVDs, "Futurama" sets were on sale for $20 each (and usually sold for more than double that) and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" sets were $22 each (not as large a drop, but still a great buy).

All told, my friend dropped roughly $100 in one night, lamenting it immediately since he was trying to save money for his new apartment. I, being a good friend, consoled him by telling him that it'd be ok and that he now had countless hours of phenomenal entertainment. Still, I was the one playing devil's advocate encouraging him to buy them in the first place.

Anyway, the next day I get a message from him saying roughly the following. "Man, I got home last night. I didn't even know what I had bought. It's a blur. I'm looking in the bag and I'm like, "Black Sheep?" What the fuck?"

I love a good DVD sale, and in all honesty, not joking at all, as soon as this is published, I'm off to Best Buy. This week "American Psycho" is $4, and I almost bought it last week for $10. In a way, I'm about to make $6. In another, more accurate way, I have an unhealthy DVD problem.

As a final note, the whole reason I started writing this is because I just received a whole buttload of free DVDs. Where I work, on occasion we get some freebies from a distributor that we are friendly with, and I am the second one to get picks. Today was the jackpot, by far, with a number of DVDs for TV shows I actually like. What's that, free copy of Rodney Dangerfield's "Ladybugs?" You want to come home with me? Absolutely.

There's a wonderful spot for you, right under "The Rocketeer."

This Week in Comics - 7-26-06

Another week, another $25 well spent on the funny books. What have we this week, you say? Well funny you should ask....

Civil War: Front Line #4 (Marvel) - Three ongoing comics in one, and an excellent supplement to the tightly written Civil War. If only House of M had more exposition like this. The first story interests me the least. Two journalists running around, one with no-name heroes I couldn't care less about, and the other being stalked by the Green Goblin. It's so-so. The better story of the three is the tale of poor powerless Speedball, getting his ass kicked in prison because of his involvment in the Stamford incident. Never thought I'd pay hard-earned money for a comic about a C-List character getting beaten up in prison, but here we are. Finally, the Sleeper Cell story is very intriguing. The whole idea of Atlantis Invading is a good one to me, and I'm anxious to see where it goes. I could do without the final pages of this book that compares the events of Civil War to actual historical battles. It just cheapens what the battles were fough for and makes Marvel look extremely pompous. Still, good stuff. "B"

Civil War: Runaways and Young Avengers #1 (Marvel) - There's no way I wasn't going to buy this, being a fan of the respective titles crossing over here. But it's not written by Runaways mastermind Brian K. Vaughn or Young Avengers uber-scribe Allan Heinberg. And that really shows. The runaways aren't as clever or witty as they usually are, and a few of them seem outlandishly out of character. (Why is Xavin a prick now?) The young Avengers aren't as heavily featured so their inaccuracies aren't as perceptible. Still, while not the worst comic ever (it's pretty solid, actually) I can't help but wonder what Vaughn or Heinberg would have brought to the table. "B"

Wolverine #44 (Marvel) - Woo. More Civil War. But this is by far the best Wolverine I've read since Mark Millar's "Enemy of the State" a few years ago. I was at first pretty mad that generic vaguely powered villains had entered the fray, but, surprise surprise, they're part of the Atlantean Invasion building over in Front Line. Very nice cross-promotion storytelling guys. And you don't even need to read one to enjoy the other. That's the way I likes my books; tightly editted, wonderfully written, and filled with blood and violence. I'd say I hope Marc Guggenheim didn't stop writing this title for a good long while, but he's being replaced by Jeph "I'm the Fucking Man and I used to work for Lost" Loeb. It's a good future for Weapon X. "A-"

X-Men #189 (Marvel) - This on the other hand does suffer from the vaguely powered villains syndrome. I do not care at all about Carey's team of uninteresting Mexican supervillains. What's worse is that they seem to be non-mutant but non-human, an idea that has been done to death and never particularly well. I'm probably giving up this book until this arc ends. Chris Bachalo's hideous and unintelligble art doesn't help. "D+"

New Avengers #22 (Marvel) - More Civil War! (Last one of the week though...) It makes me sad that so soon after launching the New Avengers that they're being split apart. It was a nice little team book that had some flaws but also had some kick ass moments in it. New Avengers annual springs to mind, as does the beginning of The Collective arc (not so much the very confusing 'return Magneto's powers' ending.... but i digress). Anyway, this issue focuses on Luke Cage, who if you don't know, is a hard-hitting black guy with unbreakable skin who fights for the hood. So you can kind of guess that he's anti-registration in the whole Civil War thing. Iron Man shows up to push his buttons and a huge fight with SHIELD ensues. Perfectly readable with some very nice touching moments between Cage and his neighbors as well as with his family. Good shit. "A-"

Action Comics #841 (DC) - Ugh. I just started reading weekly Superman comics and I'm already going to have to stop. I can list off a great deal of reasons why this sucks. One, Fabian Nicieza is involved. Two, half of the issue is about Nightwing and Firestorm, who I don't care about at all. Three, absurd alien robot spiders appear out of nowhere and they speak in broken English and go about stealing famous chruches to sell to some giant extraterrestial Auctioneer. Good luck with that. "D"

Fifty Two: Week 12 (DC) - I guess it had to happen sometime. When you have a book that's being told every single week for a year, the creative team is going to lose steam at some point. It's not that this issue isn't good, it's just kind of bland. Lots of build up and not a lot of payoff. Sure, some new superchick named Isis joins the Marvel family, but... meh. Why do I care? I do like all the Elongated Man stuff, though. Slow building, but he's a character who gets a bad rap and he's being well portrayed here. I just want to see something of use happen. "B-"

Batman #655 (DC) - This, however, is quite the opposite of the other DC books I picked up this week. Let's see, it starts with Commissioner Gordon getting poisoned, the Joker gets shot in the face, there's two Batmans for a second, Alfred teaches Batman how to be Bruce Wayne, and we end with a child who claims to be Bruce's son. And it's written by Grant Morrison and drawn by Andy Kubert. Yeah. It's fucking good. "A"

That's all for now, people who aren't reading this. Enjoy.

Comics Reviews - 7-19-06

One thing I greatly enjoy is comics. Buying them, reading them, talking about them. S'all good to me. Problem is most people I know don't even touch the things, let alone want to hear me talk about them. So for people too cheap, too disinterested, or just too lame to be down with the comics scene, I'm gonna post on this here blog my thoughts of the comics I bought for the week. Read it if you care, don't if you don't. There's plenty of websites with pictures of cute puppies or videos where people blow up stuff on the Internet to further waste your lives.

CIVIL WAR #3 (Marvel) - For the un-informed, Civil War is Marvel's big summer mega-event. The skinny so far goes like this: The New Warriors, a team of C-List superheroes, were doing a reality show where they fight bad guys on live TV. Most of them were only 18 or 19 and they weren't the names you'd want on your side if Galactus came calling (What's Speedball gonna do? Bounce off of him?). Anyway, they went to bust four C-List bad guys and one of them villains goes and blows up a school and lots of innocent people get killed - on live TV. This leads to the Superhuman Registration Act, wherein all superpowered individuals must register with the government and become paid federal employees. Iron Man is all about it; Captain America is not. Each has a posse. Oh, and last issue Spider-Man publicly revealed that he was Peter Parker. Got all that?

Anyway, this issue, Cap's team, known now as the Secret Avengers, butts heads with Iron Man's Super-Narcs. And that's pretty much it, but don't get me wrong; it kicks ass. If you want to see Steve McNiven's depiction of Iron Man knocking out Captain America's teeth, he's got you covered, and damn is it good. The last page is a big reveal of a character who's been dead for a few years and has apparently come back to side with Iron Man. There's some other stuff in here about Black Panther, the X-Men, and some other ancillary characters, but really, you're either reading this already or you never will. I'd highly recommend you read it. "A"

Eternals #2 (of 6) (Marvel) - Real quick, here's what you need to know. In the 60's Jack Kirby came up with these characters called the Eternals who were immortal superheroes from the dawn of time. No one really ever heard of them or used them in 30 years or so, but now Neil "The Sandman" Gaiman is writing it and it kicks ass. John Romita Jr.'s art doesn't really do it for me in general, but he's a lot better placed on this book than he was on "The Sentry" limited series from last year. In this issue, Ikaras gets tortured, Makkari and Sersi fall in love immediately, and a hostage situation breaks out at a party. I'm not doing it justice here, but since anyone reading this probably doesn't understand a word of what I've just said anyhow, I'll give it a rating and press on. "A"

Justice League of America #0 (DC) - Brad Meltzer, author of "Identity Crisis" two years back, has returned to write the relaunch of JLA. And say what you will about "Identity," (personally, I thought it was good but overrated) Meltzer can write. And it doesn't hurt him that just about every big artist in the employ of DC contributes a page or two to this issue. Basically, the big three, Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, reminisce about various points in the career of the JLA, ultimately stopping at the present when they get together to decide who's going to be in the new one. Nothing new happens; it's just a rehash of old stuff, some of which I didn't get because I've only recently started throwing large sums of money into the DC Universe. That said, this issue is absolutely amazing. This is why I read comics, this issue right here. Meltzer nails the voice of all three of his characters and shows us all the critical points in their friendship. So well-written I'm going to read it again when I finish writing this. Hands down the best book I've read all month, and to be fair, this month has been pretty fucking good. "A+"

The Flash #2 (DC) - What the hell is going on in this book? The viewpoint jumps back and forth indistinguishably from character to character, and some of those characters are supposed to be dead or missing. Though this issue is more coherent than the last, it's still not a vast improvement. Yet, I'm pining to know where it's going and I've only just started collecting Flash comics, so they've got me for now. Nice art by Ken Lashley doesn't hurt it either. "B-"

Uncanny X-Men #476 (Marvel) - I really hope Ed Brubaker, the new UXM author as of last issue, becomes the next Brian Bendis. He's already writing this book, Captain America, and whatever miniseries Marvel throws at him. Keep giving him books because this guy is the second best writer Marvel has (sorry, no man can top Brian K. Vaughn). I care about Warpath because of Brubaker and Warpath has consistently sucked for 20 years. In this issue, the team of X-Men that doesn't hate Professor X for lying about the Krakoa mission (leftover plotlines from Brubaker's X-Men: Deadly Genesis series) go off into a volcano and find an old Shi'ar base to steal a rocket ship. And that's it really, nothing fancy. Just a good solid team book, something that this title has not been since... God, I can't even remember. I really don't care about the whole third Summers brother plot line, but since it hasn't reared up in full yet, the book is still a lot of fun. Darwin is still a pretty useless new character though. Leaps and bounds over what this book had been for years under Chris Claremont. "B+"

52: Week 11 (DC) - Quickly now, 52 is DC's answer to Fox's 24. It comes out every week, which is pretty absurd by comic standards, and focuses on a missing year in DC continuity since the editors jumped every other title up a year following last year's "Infinite Crisis." This week, Elongated Man goes crazy and beats up kids as he tracks down a cult worshipping the dead Superboy, Batwoman is introduced and she's a hot lesbian, and apparently Sue Dibny is coming back to life. That was quick. Hard to keep a title like this with so many characters fresh, so it feels like it's starting to drag a bit, but I'm still gonna buy it everyweek. Needs more Booster Gold though. "B"

Runaways #19 (Marvel) - The end of the Parental Guidance arc. Brian K. Vaughn writes this title and he's my personal favorite author. AND he kills of Gert, my least favorite runaway, while seemingly bringing Karolina back full time and adding a shape-shifting Super Skrull to the team. Works for me, but bring back Excelsior man! Also, Victor calls Chase a Leeroy Jenkins when he runs into battle without listening in a very geeky Internet fueled in-joke. Bonus points. I doubt anyone reading this understands what I just said. Regardless, "A-"

X-Men: Civil War #1 (Marvel) - The X-Men miniseries tying into Civil War (that should be obvious). This is really just a continuation of X-Men: The 198, which was the miniseries tying into last year's "House of M." And 198 sucked. This is marginally better, but I still have no idea why Bishop would support the Registration Act considering he comes from a future where all mutants were branded as such and brutally oppressed. I really don't want to read this title, but I will keep buying, just like I did with The 198, because I'll be mad if I do miss something good. Hasn't happened yet. "C+"

X-Factor #9 (Marvel) - As much as I loved X-Factor when it came out, I think it's losing it's steam. Forced to contend with useless Layla Miller as a cast member and now forced to stray from it's ongoing plotlines to deal with Civil War. At least Quicksilver is around now, all crazy and hepped up on Terrigen Mists, after last year's "Son of M" series. I'm not sure if the next issue has to do with Civil War or not, but I hope it doesn't. The title's supposed to be about a mutant detective agency, and that's not what this issue is. This one is a near-fight with the X-Men that only serves to establish that Quicksilver, a man who should be a wanted criminal, is now in Madrox and company's care. Peter David can write them better than this, though I did like the scene where Madrox helps the inept New Warrior escape from the police. "B-"

Ultimate X-Men #72 (Marvel) - Part one of "Magical," but really part seven of Robert Kirkman's introductory arc on the title. The X-Men fight the Ultimate Friends of Humanity in a nice little throwback fight, which is perfectly acceptable and very well drawn by Tom Raney. I don't know where Kirkman is going with this Magician character, especially with the twist ending that makes him not what he seems to be. Seems like a standard, here's a good guy you've never heard of but wait he's actually a bad guy! Grant Morrison did it much better in New X-Men with Xorneto, but Kirkman is a great writer and I'll wait to see where he's going with this. I also want to know why he brought back Brian K. Vaughn's very forgettable Syndicate character. We'll see. "B"

And that's everything I spent my money on today. I doubt anyone has actually read it, but I had fun writing it. I'm gonna do comics reviews every Wednesday/Thursday, so if you're interested in such things, ch-check it out. And for anyone who wants to blow some money on some good trade paperbacks, pick up any one of these and you'll have done your mind a whole lot of justice:
Captain America: The Winter Soldier (Vol. 1)
DMZ: On the Ground (Vol. 1)
Fables: Legends In Exile (vol. 1)

Blogs are stupid. Welcome to my blog.

Hello various internetic peoples. My name is Dan, but you can call me eXplosivo or just X for short. For an 18-month period, I ran a website known as Planet eXplosivo (http://www.plaetexplosivo.com/) [hey that's the name of this blog!] which was continually rivaling Google, Yahoo, mySpace, and Milf Hunter as the most hit website in cyberspace.

Actually, I usually got eight hits a day, half of them were me, and I updated it once every six hundred days. But damnit, I had a website, and that made me cool. Like a Ghostbusters jumpsuit. Or a He Man tattoo.

Since the website cost money, required a lot of time and effort, and generally garnered me some reproach when I never updated from the few people who did read it, I have decided to end it.

Websites are cool and blogs, on the other hand, are for lifeless losers who live at home, watch cartoons all day, and live on Slurpees, corn dogs, and Hot Pockets. People who don't have anything valueable to say write blogs. In short, I think blogs are stupid.

So welcome to my blog. It's going to be a rather strange experience filled with lollipops, gummy bears, and big words like 'reproach' and 'garner.'

Tell your friends.