Today I got in my time machine and killed Rivers Cuomo in 2001, so that everything after the Green Album no longer exists. Thus, Weezer's album "Raditude" will cease to be.
Then, I had to fix this from ever coming to pass: http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1853180/
Showing posts with label frustrations with the world. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustrations with the world. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Today in Douchebags
My repulsion from Green Day, Post-2003 is well documented (in fact, it's documented just a scant few entries below this one!). This post is no different in tone or content.
In the September 2009 Maxim (side note: Maxim is a terrible magazine and I do not support or condone it, I merely get it for free [side side note: there is a really great Oral History of Marvel Comics in that issue as well {side side side note: Janelle, the new Maxim came; please don't get overly upset}]), there is an interview with Green Day frontman, Billie Joe Armstrong. Billie Joe was really cool when I was 12 years old, but now he's just another "success has gone to his head douchebag."
I quote, "I hear they're trying to find a new king of pop. I'd like to throw my hat into the ring."
I hear Billie Joe and Kanye West are teaming up to form a supergroup. Their first single, "I'm the Best!" will drop in September and be featured on the upcoming "Lyrical Geniuses and Voices of a Generation: Lots of Beeping and Booping and Grade-School Level Jibberish about American Politics, Volume 1: The Jesus of Suburbia (whatever the fuck that means) Meets A Creepy Giant Teddy Bear That Wears Neon Pink Poser Sunglasses, You Know, Those Ones that Kind of Look Like Venetian Blinds and Do Not Protect Your Eyes at All, But Let Everyone Around Know You Are a Complete Tool."
Needless to say, I don't care for that Kanye West either.
In the September 2009 Maxim (side note: Maxim is a terrible magazine and I do not support or condone it, I merely get it for free [side side note: there is a really great Oral History of Marvel Comics in that issue as well {side side side note: Janelle, the new Maxim came; please don't get overly upset}]), there is an interview with Green Day frontman, Billie Joe Armstrong. Billie Joe was really cool when I was 12 years old, but now he's just another "success has gone to his head douchebag."
I quote, "I hear they're trying to find a new king of pop. I'd like to throw my hat into the ring."
I hear Billie Joe and Kanye West are teaming up to form a supergroup. Their first single, "I'm the Best!" will drop in September and be featured on the upcoming "Lyrical Geniuses and Voices of a Generation: Lots of Beeping and Booping and Grade-School Level Jibberish about American Politics, Volume 1: The Jesus of Suburbia (whatever the fuck that means) Meets A Creepy Giant Teddy Bear That Wears Neon Pink Poser Sunglasses, You Know, Those Ones that Kind of Look Like Venetian Blinds and Do Not Protect Your Eyes at All, But Let Everyone Around Know You Are a Complete Tool."
Needless to say, I don't care for that Kanye West either.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Green Day
I wish Green Day would stop putting out crap. Remember when Green Day was awesome? Take a listen to Dookie and tell me it isn't one of the cornerstones of the 90s rock sound. Man, that album always takes me back to grade school. I'll never forget this one day in fifth grade when my entire class just started singing "Basket Case." It was so ridiculously surreal that sometimes I wonder if it actually happened.
I'm also really partial to Insomniac, their commercially failed follow-up to Dookie. I have no idea why the album didn't take off like Dookie did. It's a little repetitive of the Dookie vibe/sound, but who fucking cares? Green Day was a poppy punk band. Who the fuck expects them to be all deep and shit?
Well they do apparently. They've got another sure to be craptastic rock opera album coming out this year. Let's just get this down on the internets as a matter of public record... I do not like American Idiot. I think it's stupid, pretentious, not good lyrically or musically, and provides an indelible stain on the pop culture of this decade and certainly on the Bush administration (not that I'm a Bush supporter). Who in the hell ever thought the band that came up with When I Come Around would be writing two EP length rock operas? I didn't, and with good reason. I thought Green Day and I were on the same page. That this is gonna be a band that will rock the shit and bring the shit down, but aren't gonna get all political and hoity toity on you.
Nimrod was kind of their fall from grace in my mind. Some great tracks, but you know and I know that that fucking album was the on with Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) on it, and I. CANNOT. STAND. THAT. SONG. Not only is it the most overplayed song in the history of overplayed songs, played on a seemingly endless loop of graduations in the late 90s [it's called fucking Good Riddance you imbeciles!] but it is the gateway to let Green Day, the SoCal punks, onto shit like Lite FM or some other innocous pop music vacuum station. (PS remember radio stations?)
After that, what did they put out next? Warning? Another underrated album in my book that didn't sound quite like a Green Day record. I'm not sure what it sounded like, but it was passable and not worthy of the scorn a lot of people gave it. Minority was a great song for one. Some of the other ones, yeah I can see how a fan of Dookie's aggressive punk licks wouldn't dig on the mellow somber acoustica of Macy's Day Parade. Anyway they followed it up with stupid ass American Idiot and now they have some other shit concept album coming out and I couldn't care less. Say what you will about it musically and thematically (and I personally say it sucks ass on both levels, with the exception of Holiday which is a damn fine tune), but American Idiot, to me, is the thing that launched Green Day into the eye-liner wearing, Hot Topic poster selling, douchebags putting St. Jimmy quotes onto their facebook phase that they are now firmly entreanched in.
And that is why the best album they've put out in the past decade wasn't a Green Day record. Foxboro Hot Tubs, the infamous Green Day side project from last year, is infinitely better than the American Idiot crap they pumped out 4 years prior. Poppy, catchy, heavy guitar riffs, and not at all serious. That's how I like my Green Day. That and recorded prior to 1997.
Funny how I wrote an entire diatribe about Green Day when all I wanted to say was "I really like the Foxboro Hot Tubs album and apparently Green Day have some new pretentious shit album coming out." Their new album is billed as being in "three acts." Go fuck yourself, Green Day.
I'm also really partial to Insomniac, their commercially failed follow-up to Dookie. I have no idea why the album didn't take off like Dookie did. It's a little repetitive of the Dookie vibe/sound, but who fucking cares? Green Day was a poppy punk band. Who the fuck expects them to be all deep and shit?
Well they do apparently. They've got another sure to be craptastic rock opera album coming out this year. Let's just get this down on the internets as a matter of public record... I do not like American Idiot. I think it's stupid, pretentious, not good lyrically or musically, and provides an indelible stain on the pop culture of this decade and certainly on the Bush administration (not that I'm a Bush supporter). Who in the hell ever thought the band that came up with When I Come Around would be writing two EP length rock operas? I didn't, and with good reason. I thought Green Day and I were on the same page. That this is gonna be a band that will rock the shit and bring the shit down, but aren't gonna get all political and hoity toity on you.
Nimrod was kind of their fall from grace in my mind. Some great tracks, but you know and I know that that fucking album was the on with Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) on it, and I. CANNOT. STAND. THAT. SONG. Not only is it the most overplayed song in the history of overplayed songs, played on a seemingly endless loop of graduations in the late 90s [it's called fucking Good Riddance you imbeciles!] but it is the gateway to let Green Day, the SoCal punks, onto shit like Lite FM or some other innocous pop music vacuum station. (PS remember radio stations?)
After that, what did they put out next? Warning? Another underrated album in my book that didn't sound quite like a Green Day record. I'm not sure what it sounded like, but it was passable and not worthy of the scorn a lot of people gave it. Minority was a great song for one. Some of the other ones, yeah I can see how a fan of Dookie's aggressive punk licks wouldn't dig on the mellow somber acoustica of Macy's Day Parade. Anyway they followed it up with stupid ass American Idiot and now they have some other shit concept album coming out and I couldn't care less. Say what you will about it musically and thematically (and I personally say it sucks ass on both levels, with the exception of Holiday which is a damn fine tune), but American Idiot, to me, is the thing that launched Green Day into the eye-liner wearing, Hot Topic poster selling, douchebags putting St. Jimmy quotes onto their facebook phase that they are now firmly entreanched in.
And that is why the best album they've put out in the past decade wasn't a Green Day record. Foxboro Hot Tubs, the infamous Green Day side project from last year, is infinitely better than the American Idiot crap they pumped out 4 years prior. Poppy, catchy, heavy guitar riffs, and not at all serious. That's how I like my Green Day. That and recorded prior to 1997.
Funny how I wrote an entire diatribe about Green Day when all I wanted to say was "I really like the Foxboro Hot Tubs album and apparently Green Day have some new pretentious shit album coming out." Their new album is billed as being in "three acts." Go fuck yourself, Green Day.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Simple Rules For Life
While I won't profess to having followed all of these rules consistently throughout my entire life, here's one guy's thoughts on how to live your life decently enough (i.e. not being a fucking scumbag like many of the people out there) while not being a complete robot/slave to the wills of others.
1. Treat People the Same Way They Treat You - The slogan was always treat your neighbor the way you want to be treated or the way they want to be treated, or something like that. But the fact is, if someone is an asshole to you, you should be an asshole back. It's all well and good to say turn the other cheek and all that, but if someone was really disrespectful to me then needed my help, I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. A man (or woman) has a right to some self-respect and that means saying Fuck Off to the people who have wronged you. Of course, if someone wrongs you and then apologizes or it was just a misunderstanding, that's different. A misunderstanding is your own fault and apologies only come out of decent people.
So the flip then is that the good and decent folks out there who have never given you a reason to dislike them... they deserve to be treated well. Pretty obvious really. The important thing to remember though is that people you don't really know, strangers on the street, they default to good and decent. The only people who deserve to be shit upon are the ones who shit on you first. I'm not saying run out and give your kidney to a stranger, but if they accidentally bump into you on the street, don't act like an asshole and get all upset. Straightforward, I think.
2. If You Don't Like It, Fuck You - Or alternatively, Don't Impose Your Own Opinions on Other People. Let people come to their own conclusions about whatever and anything in life. If you're wearing a giant purple hat down 5th Avenue, people are going to look at you cock-eyed and think you're crazy. But if you want to wear a giant purple hate, do it, and fuck everyone else. Who gives a shit in the long run? We're all gonna die some time anyway. May as well let the freak flag fly when you can. People are too judgmental and that's kind of okay. That's going to happen no matter what. The problem is when people get upset about other people's judgments. If someone thinks you're an asshole, but you think you're awesome, well then fuck that guy (and also, see rule 1). Aside from people whose opinions you actually value (your family and friends namely [see below]), everyone else has shit for brains and you shouldn't care about their opinions. Ever.
3. Take Care of Your Family and Friends - This should go without saying, yet people all the time treat their family like shit or disrespect the people they call friends. Look, we're all gonna die, right? This might be it. Your friends and family are the only thing that make this random happenstance of existence on this rock flying through space have any real meaning. If you don't show respect to the people who actually like you, then you are clearly an asshole and don't deserve it in the first place.
I guess this is all common sense, but this is what I have always tried to do in my own life and in my experiences it seems like a lot of people have no common sense. So here it is to whoever will read it. You can sum it all up though with a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Custer's father in the Vertigo series "Preacher": You got to be one of the good guys, cause there's way too many of the bad. Amen, preacher.
1. Treat People the Same Way They Treat You - The slogan was always treat your neighbor the way you want to be treated or the way they want to be treated, or something like that. But the fact is, if someone is an asshole to you, you should be an asshole back. It's all well and good to say turn the other cheek and all that, but if someone was really disrespectful to me then needed my help, I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire. A man (or woman) has a right to some self-respect and that means saying Fuck Off to the people who have wronged you. Of course, if someone wrongs you and then apologizes or it was just a misunderstanding, that's different. A misunderstanding is your own fault and apologies only come out of decent people.
So the flip then is that the good and decent folks out there who have never given you a reason to dislike them... they deserve to be treated well. Pretty obvious really. The important thing to remember though is that people you don't really know, strangers on the street, they default to good and decent. The only people who deserve to be shit upon are the ones who shit on you first. I'm not saying run out and give your kidney to a stranger, but if they accidentally bump into you on the street, don't act like an asshole and get all upset. Straightforward, I think.
2. If You Don't Like It, Fuck You - Or alternatively, Don't Impose Your Own Opinions on Other People. Let people come to their own conclusions about whatever and anything in life. If you're wearing a giant purple hat down 5th Avenue, people are going to look at you cock-eyed and think you're crazy. But if you want to wear a giant purple hate, do it, and fuck everyone else. Who gives a shit in the long run? We're all gonna die some time anyway. May as well let the freak flag fly when you can. People are too judgmental and that's kind of okay. That's going to happen no matter what. The problem is when people get upset about other people's judgments. If someone thinks you're an asshole, but you think you're awesome, well then fuck that guy (and also, see rule 1). Aside from people whose opinions you actually value (your family and friends namely [see below]), everyone else has shit for brains and you shouldn't care about their opinions. Ever.
3. Take Care of Your Family and Friends - This should go without saying, yet people all the time treat their family like shit or disrespect the people they call friends. Look, we're all gonna die, right? This might be it. Your friends and family are the only thing that make this random happenstance of existence on this rock flying through space have any real meaning. If you don't show respect to the people who actually like you, then you are clearly an asshole and don't deserve it in the first place.
I guess this is all common sense, but this is what I have always tried to do in my own life and in my experiences it seems like a lot of people have no common sense. So here it is to whoever will read it. You can sum it all up though with a quote from the good Reverend Jesse Custer's father in the Vertigo series "Preacher": You got to be one of the good guys, cause there's way too many of the bad. Amen, preacher.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
I Bet Michael Buffer Is An Ass
This one is for Janelle, my only reader....
I bet Michael Buffer is an asshole.
If you don't know who he is, Buffer is probably the most famous ring announcer of all time. He's the "Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuumble" guy, and I don't know him personally, but I bet he's kind of a jerk. I mean, his entire career IS saying "Let's Get Ready to Ruuuuumble" and he has it trademarked, which means that I might be sued just by saying it on this website.
So he gets famous for the way he says the word "Rumble" and then makes it so that anyone can't say it like he does without paying him money, which is likely hundreds of thousands of dollars. This is the guy that they get for the big important Boxing matches and WWE title fights. Poor Lillian Garcia, the usual ring announcer for the WWE and all around cutie pie, will never get the chance to announce a Wrestlemania title fight, because they will always get Michael Buffer so he can say his stupid catch phrase.
I don't think I had a very funny point to make with all this. It just seems like a guy who trademarks an asinine phrase like "Let's Get Ready to Rumble" and makes it so you can't say it without his permission is probably a bit of a wanker. I mean, Donald Trump tried to trademark "You're Fired!" and Paris Hilton trademarked "That's hot." and that's not exactly the duo to be in league with if you want a favorable public image.
So that's my piece, it took a month to get it out of me. Michael Buffer.... probably an ass.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
The Hammock Complex? Down on 3rd?
Man, these online hammock distributors are real shysty characters. All I want to do is buy a nice comfortable, yet cheap, hammock that I can replace my bed with, but OH NO, the hammock stand in the picture doesn't come with the hammock. You have to buy a hammock stand separately. What kind of scam are they running here?
Discount hammocks and jacked-up prices for steel hammock stands. That's not what America was founded on. That's not even what Russia was founded on. Whatever happened to the old American ideal of a chicken in every pot and a hammock free with stand? I tell you this country's gone to the dogs.
I just wanted a nice affordable indoor hammock for sleeping and lazing purposes and instead I went on a wild goose chase through online hammockeries where stands and hammocks could never co-exist peacefully.
It's times like this that I just want to give up my hammock-bed idea and go back to sleep on a mattress. Like some loser.
Discount hammocks and jacked-up prices for steel hammock stands. That's not what America was founded on. That's not even what Russia was founded on. Whatever happened to the old American ideal of a chicken in every pot and a hammock free with stand? I tell you this country's gone to the dogs.
I just wanted a nice affordable indoor hammock for sleeping and lazing purposes and instead I went on a wild goose chase through online hammockeries where stands and hammocks could never co-exist peacefully.
It's times like this that I just want to give up my hammock-bed idea and go back to sleep on a mattress. Like some loser.
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