Me: Joining me here today is "funnyman" Carlos Mencia, star of the hit Comedy Central show "Mind of Mencia." How are you doing today, Carlos?
Mencia: Ohhh man. You know how us beaners are, right? We're always so tired! Beaners are like that and I myself am a beaner.
Me: Well, I can understand you being tired, you're one of the hottest comics in America today.
Mencia: That's because I take people soooo far over the line! You don't even know what it's like! You see, a lot of comedians like to think they're edgy, but really they aren't. Carlos Mencia, that's where the really edgy material is. I take people over the line. I show them the line and then I take them right over it!!
Me: Yes, edgy comedians are all the rage these days. What makes you different from the pack?
Mencia: You don't even know! I tell jokes about things that are real! The war in Iraq? That's real! Send some beaners over there to clean the place up! Beaners like that stuff! Beaners! I have this joke in my act where I talk about pushing this retarded person in a wheelchair. It's funny too because I've never met a retarded person in a wheelchair, but tell people you did and man oh man, they will laugh! They will laugh SO hard, because I am so funny. My mother tells me all the time, "Carlos, you are so funny! "
Me: Your mom calls you Carlos? I thought your real name was Ned?
Mencia: Ned was NOT an edgy name! See, now that I'm Carlos it shows that I know! I know what it's like to be on the edge all the time! I'm out there with all the other beaners, working hard for "da man!"
Me: Well... ok. But isn't it true that 'beaner' is a derrogatory term used largely on the West Coast to make fun of Mexican immigrants? I mean, you seem to associate yourself with them, but... You're from Honduras, originally.
Mencia: I'm fairly certain that Honduras is part of Mexico...
Me: Ned, you've been in some hot water the past few years about stealing jokes from other comedians. Thoughts?
Mencia: Only edgy comedians take jokes from real comedians with talent. That Joe Rogan guy, what did he ever do aside from accuse me of plagiarism?
Me: Well aside from a successful hosting gig on NBC's Fear Factor for many years, he had a role on the show NewsRadio, a stint hosting The Man Show, a successful stand-up tour and at least one hit comedy album. It seems like all you did was crawl into an empty time slot Comedy Central had open when Dave Chapelle decided to leave the network. So they got you, a crappier, much stupider, much more "dumbed down" comedian to fill his place with a show that follows nearly exactly the same format but repeats trite jokes over and over again and never once pushes any legitimate boundaries in what comedy can and cannot do. I'd never even heard of you until that crappy show started airing and I'd wager to say most people still don't know who you are while Dave Chapelle is internationally recognized as a comedic genius.
Mencia: Did you ever notice that beaners REALLY like tacos??
Me: No further questions.
